Since I’ve started getting tattoos I’ve grown a hatred toward certain types of tattoos. Here’s my list of gay ass tattoos.
1. Tramp Stamps, Targets or the more political correct lower back tattoo. What’s even worse are girls who proclaim, "I got mine before it was trendy!" lol! My girlfriend’s gonna kill me for this one, sorry hun. :)
2. Anything tribal. Enough already, it’s beginning to get annoying!
3. Shit you don’t understand. Yeah, that pyramid with the eye on the US Dollar bill is cool, but if you don’t understand it’s meaning you’re a stupid sheep! What if it’s later found that it means "I suck large horse cock"? This also goes for any kind of writing which you cannot read. I mean how stupid would you feel if what you thought was Kanji for "justice" turned out to be "I like to be ass rammed" in North Korean?
4. Stupid inappropriate shit. I once saw a jizz tramp stamp. I mean I’d surly appreciate finding out the girl I’ve been dating likes guys cumming all over her back so much that she had to immortalize it with a tattoo. Although tattoos are becoming more accepted in our society, there’s still a public standard. I’m sorry, but I’m going to knock your dipshit ass out when my 9 year old asks me, "What is that between that ladies legs on that man’s arm?"
5. Any type of wings on the back. Sorry, but you’re not an angel nor a fairy. It just stupid and ghay. Fairies and mythical woodland creatures were only popular with the geek crowd when I was in high school. Now every cheerleader and drama queen has them on their back. SHEEP! BHHAAA And for those who put wings on their chest, ROFLMAO!
6. Someone’s name. Memorials to your kids or parents are ok, but your girlfriends name is just stupid. I know I’d love to stare at my girlfriends name every time I look at myself in the mirror. Especially after she’s just dumped me for some other asshole.
7. Oriental or other cultural body suits on white American dudes. Get a fucking life, you’re not Yakuza.
8. Any type of product branding. At least that stupid chick with the Golden Palace casino tattoo on her forehead is getting paid for it. Morons!
9. People who claim to have tattoos yet they’re all hidden where you can’t see them. Sorry dudes and dudettes, if they’re hidden they don’t exist.
10. Spider web tattoos on guys whose only experience with a jail cell is a get out of jail free card in Monopoly. You’re nothing but a trend following turd!
11. Cosmetic tattoos. ROFL!!! Nothing worse then being stuck with stupid ass looking tattood eye brows 10 year after the style you’re wearing has gone out.
12. Inner lip and eye tattoos. God, you people aren’t tough, you’re fucking ignorant. One thing I will never mess with are my eyes. My sight is something I treasure above all my senses. There’s no way I am going to take even the smallest risk at losing my sight.
13. Pubic bone tattoos. Sorry honey but the last thing I want to see when I’m going down on you is a pair of eyes staring back at me. It’s just creepy! And the lawn mower tattoo is fuckin’ stupid, not cool.
14. Skeleton tattos. Ok ok, now I know you have a skeleton and muscles.
15. Wedding Ring tattos. There’s nothing better then the reminder of a miserable failed marriage every time you look at your hand.
16. Face tattoos. Unless you tattoo for a living, welcome to the wonderful world of ditch digging!!
Do I sound condescending? Of course I do! If the only reason you’re getting a tattoo is because you think it’ll make you cooler then you were before, you’re a moron. It’s not going to make you cool, and it’ not going to get you laid. It’s going to make you look like an MTV driven trend following turd.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
How ironic is it that science fights an ignorance war with creationism, yet it has it’s own version of ignorance built right in. Have Pro Planet people really resorted to the kind of deceit we hear from groups such as PITA, Greenpeace, and the pro life effort? Who ever claimed that Pluto was an asteroid? And it would take a pretty damn huge collision to send Pluto hurling toward earth. *sadly shakes his head*
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Second Fiddle
When I was in grade school, I played saxophone in the band. The biggest or at least most fun competition of my life was probably between Jim Gleen and I over first chair Sax. I was actually a pretty good sax player back then although now I’ve grown a bit fonder of the clarinet. But that’s for another story.
We competed in every facet of the game. If he got a new saxophone, I got a new saxophone. If I practiced 2 extra hours, he’d practice 2 extra hours. We even went as far as talking shit about each other to the rest of the band. The thing got pretty heated and some might say, out of hand.
Eventually, the director chose Jim over me for first chair. In true grade-school fashion I quit the band. There’s no way I’d settle for second chair. I’ve always wondered how great it would have felt if they’d have groveled to get me back because something had happened to Jim. Alas it never happened and I never got my secret glory.
In the years since then I have grown up a bit and learned a few lessons. One of those being not to be so arrogant. But I never lost my steadfast belief that second chair would never be good enough for me. I think this general rule holds true for most aspects of your life. Never settle for second best. Always strive to be the best that you can be.
One of those experiences in life where I believe this rule holds the most truth is with the opposite sex. When a guy chases a girl and she snubs him off by being with someone else that typically means that the girl isn’t interested. At least to me that means, "I just want to be friends." My parents taught me to respect women thus no means no.
That also means; once she’s realized that she made a mistake and she sees that the guy has a new girlfriend, she has no right to blame the guy for anything or interfere in what he has! I don’t play second chair... EVER... you had your chance and you blew it.
Always remember, we live in the age of technology. The burden of the chase is no longer entirely on the shoulders of the man. So next time you notice someone who you think might like you, don’t play games. Speak up with something other then, "I just want to be friends." Cause, who knows what would happen if YOU offered that guy first chair in your band.
We competed in every facet of the game. If he got a new saxophone, I got a new saxophone. If I practiced 2 extra hours, he’d practice 2 extra hours. We even went as far as talking shit about each other to the rest of the band. The thing got pretty heated and some might say, out of hand.
Eventually, the director chose Jim over me for first chair. In true grade-school fashion I quit the band. There’s no way I’d settle for second chair. I’ve always wondered how great it would have felt if they’d have groveled to get me back because something had happened to Jim. Alas it never happened and I never got my secret glory.
In the years since then I have grown up a bit and learned a few lessons. One of those being not to be so arrogant. But I never lost my steadfast belief that second chair would never be good enough for me. I think this general rule holds true for most aspects of your life. Never settle for second best. Always strive to be the best that you can be.
One of those experiences in life where I believe this rule holds the most truth is with the opposite sex. When a guy chases a girl and she snubs him off by being with someone else that typically means that the girl isn’t interested. At least to me that means, "I just want to be friends." My parents taught me to respect women thus no means no.
That also means; once she’s realized that she made a mistake and she sees that the guy has a new girlfriend, she has no right to blame the guy for anything or interfere in what he has! I don’t play second chair... EVER... you had your chance and you blew it.
Always remember, we live in the age of technology. The burden of the chase is no longer entirely on the shoulders of the man. So next time you notice someone who you think might like you, don’t play games. Speak up with something other then, "I just want to be friends." Cause, who knows what would happen if YOU offered that guy first chair in your band.
Friday, March 7, 2008
Talk about a twist.
Not sure if this is true or not, but I found it a quite entertaining read.
--
At the 1994 annual awards dinner given by the American Association for Forensic Science, AAFS President Don Harper Mills astounded his audience in San Diego with the legal complications of a bizarre death. Here is the story.
On 23 March 1994, the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound of the head. The decedent had jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to commit suicide (he left a note indicating his despondency). As he fell past the ninth floor, his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast through a window, which killed him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the decedent was aware that a safety net had been erected at the eighth floor level to protect some window washers and that Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide anyway because of this.
Ordinarily, a person who sets out to commit suicide ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be what he intended.
That Opus was shot on the way to certain death nine stories below probably would not have changed his mode of death from suicide to homicide. But the fact that his suicidal intent would not have been successful caused the medical examiner to feel that he had homicide on his hands.
The room on the ninth floor whence the shotgun blast emanated was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing and he was threatening her with the shotgun. He was so upset that, when he pulled the trigger, he completely missed his wife and the pellets went through the window striking Opus.
When one intends to kill subject A but kills subject B in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject B. When confronted with this charge, the old man and his wife were both adamant that neither knew that the shotgun was loaded. The old man said it was his long-standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her; therefore, the killing of Opus appeared to be an accident. That is, the gun had been accidentally loaded.
The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple's son loading the shotgun approximately six weeks prior to the fatal incident. It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son's financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother.
The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus.
There was an exquisite twist.
Further investigation revealed that the son [Ronald Opus] had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother's murder. This led him to jump off the ten-story building on March 23, only to be killed by a shotgun blast through a ninth story window.
The medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.
--
At the 1994 annual awards dinner given by the American Association for Forensic Science, AAFS President Don Harper Mills astounded his audience in San Diego with the legal complications of a bizarre death. Here is the story.
On 23 March 1994, the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound of the head. The decedent had jumped from the top of a ten-story building intending to commit suicide (he left a note indicating his despondency). As he fell past the ninth floor, his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast through a window, which killed him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the decedent was aware that a safety net had been erected at the eighth floor level to protect some window washers and that Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide anyway because of this.
Ordinarily, a person who sets out to commit suicide ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be what he intended.
That Opus was shot on the way to certain death nine stories below probably would not have changed his mode of death from suicide to homicide. But the fact that his suicidal intent would not have been successful caused the medical examiner to feel that he had homicide on his hands.
The room on the ninth floor whence the shotgun blast emanated was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing and he was threatening her with the shotgun. He was so upset that, when he pulled the trigger, he completely missed his wife and the pellets went through the window striking Opus.
When one intends to kill subject A but kills subject B in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject B. When confronted with this charge, the old man and his wife were both adamant that neither knew that the shotgun was loaded. The old man said it was his long-standing habit to threaten his wife with the unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her; therefore, the killing of Opus appeared to be an accident. That is, the gun had been accidentally loaded.
The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple's son loading the shotgun approximately six weeks prior to the fatal incident. It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son's financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectation that his father would shoot his mother.
The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus.
There was an exquisite twist.
Further investigation revealed that the son [Ronald Opus] had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother's murder. This led him to jump off the ten-story building on March 23, only to be killed by a shotgun blast through a ninth story window.
The medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.
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