Since I’ve started getting tattoos I’ve grown a hatred toward certain types of tattoos. Here’s my list of gay ass tattoos.

1. Tramp Stamps, Targets or the more political correct lower back tattoo. What’s even worse are girls who proclaim, "I got mine before it was trendy!" lol! My girlfriend’s gonna kill me for this one, sorry hun. :)

2. Anything tribal. Enough already, it’s beginning to get annoying!

3. Shit you don’t understand. Yeah, that pyramid with the eye on the US Dollar bill is cool, but if you don’t understand it’s meaning you’re a stupid sheep! What if it’s later found that it means "I suck large horse cock"? This also goes for any kind of writing which you cannot read. I mean how stupid would you feel if what you thought was Kanji for "justice" turned out to be "I like to be ass rammed" in North Korean?

4. Stupid inappropriate shit. I once saw a jizz tramp stamp. I mean I’d surly appreciate finding out the girl I’ve been dating likes guys cumming all over her back so much that she had to immortalize it with a tattoo. Although tattoos are becoming more accepted in our society, there’s still a public standard. I’m sorry, but I’m going to knock your dipshit ass out when my 9 year old asks me, "What is that between that ladies legs on that man’s arm?"

5. Any type of wings on the back. Sorry, but you’re not an angel nor a fairy. It just stupid and ghay. Fairies and mythical woodland creatures were only popular with the geek crowd when I was in high school. Now every cheerleader and drama queen has them on their back. SHEEP! BHHAAA And for those who put wings on their chest, ROFLMAO!

6. Someone’s name. Memorials to your kids or parents are ok, but your girlfriends name is just stupid. I know I’d love to stare at my girlfriends name every time I look at myself in the mirror. Especially after she’s just dumped me for some other asshole.

7. Oriental or other cultural body suits on white American dudes. Get a fucking life, you’re not Yakuza.

8. Any type of product branding. At least that stupid chick with the Golden Palace casino tattoo on her forehead is getting paid for it. Morons!

9. People who claim to have tattoos yet they’re all hidden where you can’t see them. Sorry dudes and dudettes, if they’re hidden they don’t exist.

10. Spider web tattoos on guys whose only experience with a jail cell is a get out of jail free card in Monopoly. You’re nothing but a trend following turd!

11. Cosmetic tattoos. ROFL!!! Nothing worse then being stuck with stupid ass looking tattood eye brows 10 year after the style you’re wearing has gone out.

12. Inner lip and eye tattoos. God, you people aren’t tough, you’re fucking ignorant. One thing I will never mess with are my eyes. My sight is something I treasure above all my senses. There’s no way I am going to take even the smallest risk at losing my sight.

13. Pubic bone tattoos. Sorry honey but the last thing I want to see when I’m going down on you is a pair of eyes staring back at me. It’s just creepy! And the lawn mower tattoo is fuckin’ stupid, not cool.

14. Skeleton tattos. Ok ok, now I know you have a skeleton and muscles.

15. Wedding Ring tattos. There’s nothing better then the reminder of a miserable failed marriage every time you look at your hand.

16. Face tattoos. Unless you tattoo for a living, welcome to the wonderful world of ditch digging!!

Do I sound condescending? Of course I do! If the only reason you’re getting a tattoo is because you think it’ll make you cooler then you were before, you’re a moron. It’s not going to make you cool, and it’ not going to get you laid. It’s going to make you look like an MTV driven trend following turd.